Communicating with your teen

Has your chatty, affectionate child turned into a distant teen, or one who is always picking a fight? As your child goes through adolescence the dynamics of your relationship may change. Your teen may even decide it is uncool to be seen in public with you. But what happens in public doesn't have to be the norm at home. If you want to know how to strengthen your relationship with your teen, how to deal with your teenage daughter, or the best way of dealing with your difficult teenage son, it helps to understand more about communicating well with your teen.

What makes a strong parent-teenager relationship?

It takes time to form quality family relationships. When your child was little you probably spent time talking to them, showing them affection, encouraging them and praising them. So you may be surprised to know it's really important to keep doing that. But it's never too late to start either.

Signs your relationship with your teen may need some TLC include:

• They will not talk to you
• They don't want your help or advice
• They over-react to small things or requests
• They keep things or secrets from you
• They yell or pick fights for what seems like no reason

Why is your parent-teenager relationship worth protecting?

A good relationship with your teenager starts with keeping the lines of communication open. If they trust you they know they can come to you with anything. Show an interest in what your teen is doing, who they are with, and where they are. This all helps to strengthen those mother-daughter, father-daughter, mother-son and father-son relationships.

Common reasons your relationship with your teen may be struggling include:

• Communication and trust are both two-way streets. And if you didn't build a strong relationship when your teen was younger, it will take more time and effort now.
• Not on the same page as your partner or ex? If your teenager regularly sees disagreements between mom and dad they might start to take advantage of this or take sides.
• Regular fighting between siblings can have a negative effect on all family relationships. You may not mean to but you may be letting the tension affect your relationship with your teen.

…or maybe all of these things are in play at once!